p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
