she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
