Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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