he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
