It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
