Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Never underestimate the power of titties
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
