Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
either way he was missing a nipple.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
