Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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