two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
