sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
