I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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