Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
