Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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