his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
