I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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