Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Houston, we have a blender
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
not ubering you a puppy
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