I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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