I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
