Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
