don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we're making bets on your personal life
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
