I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize