We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
