Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
