Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
