theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
