Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am spending my child support on dildos
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
