I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
