Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
