My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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