Have you finally orgasmed yet?
false alarm. still invincible.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
