ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
