one two three fourrrrnication!
i think my mom watched the whole time
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
