We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
