Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
