if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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