Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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