I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
