You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
