I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
