you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
