FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
