Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
