quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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