Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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