i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
