So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
