drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
