Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
