think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
