Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
