Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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