You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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