We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
