I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
