Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
