Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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