I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
