I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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