just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
