He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
